I’ve never been particularly good at writing, nor have I enjoyed it. The writing I do enjoy is that of the academic variety, if the topic interest me enough. Though, that being said, even in University I dreaded it. Most people will probably relate to me saying that the idea of writing is a drag, but once you’re actually in the act of it, it’s not that bad.*
If I’m being completely honest, I’ve probably stayed away from writing because of my fear of not being good at it. I took the advanced and AP literature and language classes in high school but always failed to get that passing score. I’ll read my papers I wrote in college and soak in the 5 minutes of horror at how bad they all are. I LET PROFESSORS READ THAT STUFF YOU GUYS. It’s truly a gift I graduated with the GPA I did. And, if any of you reading this know my twitter presence, then you know I can’t go three tweets without a typo, misspelling, or grammar mistake. I’ve made it my brand, heck, there’s probably one or two typos in the above section. And if they aren’t, I’ve probably slipped one in on purpose just to keep the brand alive.
My outlet has always been my voice. Whether that was singing, YouTube, or now Podcasts. Spoken word without thought or consideration, was where I let my thoughts manifest. The past 7 years has been focused on that type of content. That, or short form written content, like on Twitter or my ill advised political hot takes on Facebook.
What I’ve come to realize, however, is that hiring managers for digital work don’t care about my podcast on friendship, and they don’t care that I’ve spent nearly a decade buried in digital content, its engagement, marketing, or creation. Hiring managers care about whether I’ve written a blog. Or, if I’ve written anything, for that matter. To be fair, I would probably be in a better position if I had bothered writing any of my YouTube videos (or, at least kept the drafts of the ones I did). I’d be a in better position if I’d bothered creating plans and strategies for my projects instead of doing them higgledy-piggledy.
I would probably be in a better position if I had figured out my life 4 years ago instead of trying to do it now, at a tender age of 25.
I didn’t do any of those things, so instead here I am. Unemployed, feeling like I need to stop hiding from writing. To stop hiding from things I always thought I was terrible at (so why try to get better at it? AVOIDANCE IS KEY!)
I’m going to be 100% upfront. This may die tomorrow. Lord knows I have enough projects on my plate that are seemingly going no where. So it might die, or it might be really bad, like, so bad that my goal for it to help me get a job actually makes me lose job prospects instead.
Whatever happens I hope that this becomes my new YouTube. The place I let my thoughts, ideas, or personal experience live out for eternity. I already know going into this that it won’t be popular. It probably won’t be relatable, and I will probably start to feel frustrated by it in 7 months time. Just like YouTube! At least the feelings won’t be foreign. I also know that many of you are reading this and going, “Wow Mary, way to shoot yourself in the foot before you even start your journey” and to that I say, “SCREW YOU, MY OTHER BRAND IS BITTERNESS LET ME LIVE MY LIFE”.
So here’s to bitterness and typos! May 2018 bring them in droves and may 2018 bring blogs that interest me. Blogs about politics and my feelings, about museums and about community, about the future and about life.